Building Identity Beyond Performance
Hey, team, happy Sunday!
You are not your stats, your role, or your wins. You're more.
Table of Contents
🎯 For Athletes: Who Are You When the Game Ends?
3 Ways to Strengthen Identity Beyond Your Sport
Write 5 things you are outside of your role. (Ex: leader, brother, student, creative, loyal friend.)
Ask yourself: “If I couldn’t compete tomorrow, what would still matter?” That’s your foundation.
Detach from outcomes. Wins and losses don’t change your worth — just your opportunities to grow.
2 Quotes to Anchor You
Simone Biles: “I’m more than my accomplishments. I’m Simone.”
C.J. McCollum: “Basketball is what I do. It’s not who I am.”
1 Question to Reflect On
If sports were taken away, would you still know who you are?
👨👩👧 For Parents: Raising Kids Who Know Their Worth
3 Ways to Help Your Athlete Build Identity Outside the Game
Praise the person, not just the performance. “I’m proud of your discipline,” not just “Nice hit.”
Expose them to different passions. Music, service, leadership, faith — all reinforce self-worth.
Remind them: you love them exactly the same after a tough game. Say it. Mean it. Repeat it.
2 Quotes to Guide You
Dr. Tim Elmore: “Affirm character over achievement. It lasts longer.”
Sue Enquist: “Separate the jersey number from the human being.”
1 Question to Reflect On
Does your athlete feel valuable at the dinner table no matter what happened on the field?
🧢 For Coaches: Developing Whole People, Not Just Players
3 Ways to Lead Identity-First Culture
Start 1-on-1s with personal check-ins. Before we talk stats, ask how they’re doing as a person.
Celebrate off-field wins. Academic effort, mentorship, family leadership — that’s legacy stuff.
Use “who before what” language. Who they’re becoming matters more than what they’re producing.
2 Quotes to Coach With
Joe Ehrmann: “Sports don’t build character. They reveal it — and then we coach it.”
John Wooden: “Success is peace of mind from doing your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”
1 Question to Reflect On
Are your players leaving your program with a stronger identity — or just a stat sheet?
Your performance is part of you — not all of you.
Help athletes play free by reminding them of who they are. 🧩
Until next time,
David Lovell
Founder of the F.O.C.U.S. System | Mental Performance Coach
P.S. Want weekly mental toughness tips in your feed? Follow along at: https://www.instagram.com/dlovell88/